|The Missing Socks Bureau's is constantly expanding it's collection of
important items and, although, some scholars may examine them in person, the
general public will have to be satisfied with viewing them on this WWW page
until we acquire enough funds to construct the National Museum of Socks.
Our curator begs all in possession of such gems to share them with others. A
description of each sock, it's history, and a picture can be emailed to us at :
Those accepted for display shall receive a Certificate of Appreciation and
a Bureau Approved pair of socks. Good news! Browsers will soon be able to
view our entire collection of socks due to a generous grant from a national
foundation. The entire data base will soon be on
line. Click on the picture to view the object.
|PSYCHIC ASTRAL PROJECTION OF A SOCK
This is the only film in the world of the actual, paranormal, astral projection of a sock during a drying cycle. It is only now being investigated by the Bureau's Para-sockchologists. Residents of a Westside, New York apartment building report that instead of loosing socks, a dryer in their building actually returns more then they put in. The sock you see being rematerialized it highly radio active and traced to a laundry in Chernobyl . Socks found in the device have origins as diverse as France, Japan, California, and the State of Washington. A sock that disappeared in London took twenty years to make the journey to San Jose California.
|THE ELVIS SOCK
NAME: Grace Land
VALUE: $5,000 +
LOCATION: Bureau Museum
The only one of its kind in the world. The mate disappeared in 1973. Custom made in London by the eminent firm of Clove and Daily it is not one of two he wore while wearing blue suede shoes. A size ten of impeachable quality.
|THE HOFFA SOCK
LOCATION: Bureau Museum
An identical match to the only burgundy-brown pair owned by the labor leader, it was discovered by scuba divers sticking out of the a cement block in the Detroit river. Unique in its own way, because it was one of the first thigh high rayon's made in Communist China for export to the west, it was traced back to the store the labor leader purchased a similar pair in and matches exactly one found under the radiator in his bedroom. Could it be that he was wearing mis-matched socks on the day he disappeared?
|CHEER LEADER - CIRCA '72
NAME: Bright Chicago
VALUE: $25,000 +
LOCATION: Bureau Museum (On loan from the Sultan of Brunei)
Only one can be shown because it's sister is at the Tate Gallery in London. It was unearthed by an urban archaeologist during the renovation of a school gymnasium in high school in Addison, Illinois. Lost to view behind a locker in the girl's dressing room for over thirty years this find has excited the whole staff. A sock with a similar history, J. C. Penny Sports 123NX, was recently auctioned in Paris for $38,000 U.S. dollars. Certified as unwashed by the Bureau's Laboratories and University of Geneva it will remain with us until the spring of '07.
|ROMAN FOOT WRAP (World's Oldest Fabric Sock)
NAME: Ovid's Dream
LOCATION: Bureau Museum
Not actually a sock, but the sock's predecessor, a foot wrap, it has been carbon dated to the year 79 BC. Unearthed during the evacuation of Rome's subway it was presented to the President of the United States who lost no time in donating to the Bureau. Made of coarse linen, with blue markings, it most likely belonged to a freeman or slave and never saw the inside of the Senate. Foot wraps, which serve the same function as socks, are still in use today, notably in the Russian army. Reproductions of this item are available mail order from the Bureau's store.
|WORLD'S LARGEST SOCK
NAME: Dr. Scholl's Nightmare
LOCATION: The British Museum
Thirty four inches long and twenty five inches in diameter, this sock belonged to the Cornish Giant Grover Gransmithe who at age 16 was already fourteen feet tall. One sock of his would provide pairs for six normally sized men. Hand knitted by his mother out of domestic wool which she carded and spun herself as keeping Grover attired was an expensive undertaking. It is a single as Gransmithe was unable to keep a matching pair together even though they were big enough to use as duffel bags. In later years, when he became world famous as a circus attraction, his socks were supplied gratis by a French Fashion House which bragged it took twenty five thousand silk worms to make a pair.
|WORLD'S SMALLEST SOCK
NAME: TINY TOE
LOCATION: The Hermitage
Less than an inch long, these socks were made for Tsar Nicholas the 2nd of Russia's pet white mice to see them through Moscow's brutal winters. The art of micro knitting died with Olenka Lanskova, sock maker to the Romanov dynasty, who was assassinated in her work room by an enraged peasant who shouted "If the people don't have shoes, the Tsar's mice shan't have socks." When someone suggested to Lenin that those, few simple words could become the catch phrase of the revolution, he replied, "I think I'll pass on that one!"